Am I the Problem?

An Editorial

Zahra Rayani, Staff Reporter

In the past few months, I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself. Mainly with my future decisions and my parents expecting the most from me. Even though I blame my parents for the pressure, honestly, I think I’m putting stress on myself. I feel like my dad has so many accomplishments and that my standards are set to the highest. The only thing is, I’m the one setting the standard. The reason why I put my bar so high is that everyone thinks of my family as we have it so easy, but in reality, my family has sacrificed so much to get to where we are.

My dad had a hard life when he was young; he was poor and didn’t have a support system. He worked tons of jobs, yet he never gave up. My mom was poor when she was younger and worked overtime while she had a kid at 17. She even went through college during all that for nursing. My brother helped my dad at such a young age with the family’s business, and he learned to make contracts when he was 13. Then there’s me. Complaining about school and how I get off work so late. Doing nothing with my life, and I’m already 15. Because I feel the need to meet standards, I stress over whether I’m doing enough or not. I try to do as much as possible with my dad, and I love following him around.

I’m trying to become just like him. When he refs, I score-keep. When he buys a property, I help clean it and get it ready for a renter. When he bought our restaurant I now have a job there. When he picks up rent, I go with him to try and learn how to deal with a renter. Although it sounds like I’m trying, sometimes I think to myself, all my opportunities are only because of him. It makes me 100 times more appreciative of him, but I still feel like I’m not doing enough. The real question is, “Is the problem me?”.